Saw Transformers again, and realized, as I started to get emotional for no particular reason, that I (deja vu) really seem to be able to feel only when I am flooded with sound. Completely overrun with audio.

I’ve been writing random little notes in Textpattern for the last few weeks; just going to throw them all in now. Excuse me.

——

Just took receipt of a nondescript grey plastic mailer with a Royal Mail shipping label adhered to the corner. There’s a custom’s mark on it, says “clothes”. It’s been sent through air mail.

This makes me nervous. Remember the eBay/Prada situation? One of the sellers involved mysteriously left me positive feedback… Though I paid her nothing, so I don’t see why she’d actually ship the Womens Prada T-Shirt BNWT in Black Sizes S & M NEW!! in question.

——

Things the little designer inside of me formed a bond with upon seeing:

Sonicum
(right, so this one is jointly desired by designer and audiophile)

Verbarius
(beauty. in a clock.)

——

> /me nudges Isaac
> dude. I just gotta say. You’re an awesome friend, I just wanted to say thanks.
> I dont know where that came from

That more or less just made my life… not sure if the guy on the other end knew it. No one has ever said that to me, straight out of the blue, without sounding like they’re just returning a complement. I’ve had girls tell me I’d make a great boyfriend, but not for them, and far too many others just say ‘we should hang out sometime’ and never call.

sigh

Ah well. My (former) therapist would take this opportunity to say I have some sort of inferiority complex. I would say he’s wrong.

——

I dreamed of flying last night.

I was with others on a boat, I think. Landed on an island. I saw two small buildings, and in one of them was a small, golden falcon. He was left alone on the island, and needed someone to go with. He showed me how. We pushed the clouds away and followed the wind.

Last night left me shaken. I’m not sure why; there was nothing that would have warranted such a response. I simply felt unsure, and pressured, as if there was a decision to be made quickly. (About God, I think.)

shred your lungs, I need to hear you louder now

——

We went to the fair. More crowd-watching than anything. Struck me how all the entertainment and emotional high is crammed in to one spot. Everywhere else is just bland – here is where the good times are.

Or something like that.

——

I’ve unexpectedly come across the photo of my second grade class. The teacher was cool.

Oh… you just found a boyfriend. Haven’t heard from you in years. You’re normal. You’re dead. Don’t remember you. I think you dropped out. Haven’t seen you since… sophomore year. Normal. Unknown. Most-likely-to-have-an-abusive-boyfriend. Unknown. Unknown. Unknown. Normal. Me. Fairly normal. Anger disorder? Consistently high.

bleh

——

That grey nondescript mailer from England? Yeah, they were *NEW* MENS PRADA BLACK SHORTS BNWT SZ:34” NO RESERVE!!. The fellow thanked me for my honesty and asked me to mail them back. Question is, will he pay shipping?

——

Cheers