he gets his information from overhearing conversations
he doesn’t ask questions, doesn’t learn many lessons
and he keeps his mouth shut, till he boils over, and he blows up
and then he can’t form his words right,
they don’t fit together so tight

and I hope to God that he will find his name
and not listen to his so-called friends when they so boldly say –

12:44am, missed the deadline. I’m supposed to be in bed by midnight, per a strict decree by me. Not that I was ever good at following those.

.. Never mind, nothing to write about. Just another song. (Last one from this album, promise.) Perhaps more at work tomorrow. Today.

Right. Morning. Not a fan of the whole morning thing, honestly. Erhan is giving polyphasic sleep a shot (section one of that article: “Napping in extreme situations” – hehe). Best of luck to him and all that; pretty sure I couldn’t handle it. Optimally, I would have no morning obligations and the opportunity to crash at night with no pressing deadlines for consciousness.

But lo, I am employed. Bah.

Re the photo for today. My eyes have been abnormally drawn to the sky over the last few months. Not sure if it’s randomly become that much more spectacular since May or what, but… man. It’s beautiful. The absolute ultimate in generative art.

That said, if you ever see me pulled off on the side of the road with a camera stuck out the window, stop me. Please. Enough is enough.

she doesn’t have much to say, about yesterday
or what happened to her when she was eight
so she drinks a lot, and it makes her feel okay
for the moment, but its gone when she awakes

and I hope you know that someone out there loves you
so don’t give yourself away, and don’t listen to them when they say –

It’s curious to me how even those with plans for the theoretical infinite can live day-to-day as if they, in fact, had no such plans. I was cleaning out my inbox yesterday (22 emails, down from 1243 – tell me that’s not an accomplishment), found an email from a guy at school. He compared life (or just this existence, if you prefer; “life” may not be so appropriate) to an infant’s time in the womb (bear with me) – it’s a time of development and the emergence of consciousness, intelligence, personality, character. The ones who develop fully, who are fully prepared, are birthed into real and vivid life. The stillborn ones.. aren’t. So much.

In this metaphor, God could be considered to be the mother, weird as that sounds. It’s a plausible analogy, though. We can’t see him. Can’t even tell he’s there at times, maybe most times. There are occasions when we can “hear” him, like a mother speaks to her unborn child. Might even brush up against him, or thrash out just to feel some assurance that we’re not completely alone, floating in the dark.

Anyway. It makes sense, in a weird way. Original ponit, though – the majority of people with any sort of belief in God cling to that when they feel like they need it, in moments of weakness or pain. Rest of the time, it’s fire insurance, filed away, lost somewhere on the desk.

Which also makes sense; we’re creatures of an inherently limited perspective. One could conclude from this as the aforementioned guy-at-school did, that we were meant to actually have a life here and now, and not just walk around staring at the sky, carrying a hymn book.

And I agree with that, of course. Just difficult to know the balance.

On a completely different note, tomorrow is Friday.

“This is the way that you are.”
don’t let them say,
“This is the way that you are.”