Long version:

The machine in question was a ASUS Eee PC Seashell 1005PE-PU17-BK ($368.59 at the time of purchase), along with a 2GB stick of memory ($43.99). Grand total with shipping: $420.56. The netbook (great little machine, by the way) comes with Windows 7 Starter Edition, which is a joke in every respect. What if I want to change my desktop wallpaper?

A quick search will give you a number of stories in which users have squared their collective shoulders and gone up against the manufacturer, arguing with “Jonathan” until both he and his manager tire of the game and award the battle-worn caller their prize. Not being terribly excited by this prospect, I started with the seller, Amazon:

Hello,

I received my EeePC from Amazon.com today, and while in the process of getting it set up was asked to accept a Microsoft Windows license agreement. For many reasons I am unable to accept the licensing terms, and thus, per the agreement itself (http://i.imgur.com/Vs308.jpg), I would like to find out how to go about returning the operating system, or receiving a refund for it. In lieu of Windows, I will be installing Linux as an os. Could you inform me of the procedure for expediting a refund?

For reference, the EULA ID for the packaged version of Windows is Win7_RM.1_STR_OEM_en-us. There is also a Microsoft Service Agreement, marked as updated September 2008. I have not and do not intend to accept either of these agreements.

Thanks for your time,

Isaac Bowen

The response from Amazon was prompt and helpful, if somewhat misguided.

I’m sorry to hear that the operating system for the personal computer you ordered is defective. I’m not able to replace or refund for individual pieces from a set, but I’ll replace the set for you. Once you’ve received it, please ship back the original set.

The quickest way to get the part you need is to contact the manufacturer and get it directly from them under the terms of their warranty.

The rep went on to list contact information for ASUS, and a link to let Amazon know how the manufacturer responded. Also, the following three options, should ASUS fail to respond:

1. We will replace the entire set at no charge
2. If you prefer to keep the item we will refund 20% off the purchase price of this item
3. You may return the entire set for a full refund.

I sent an email to ASUS, saying more or less what I had said to Amazon (namely that I’d like to keep the machine, but I have no interest in using this Windows license that you’ve so kindly included), and waited for a month, not expecting much but knowing that Amazon had my back regardless. Happily, I received no response.

Amazon issued a full 20% refund for the netbook itself in a matter of hours, totaling $73.72. (Though, oddly, the refund notice divided the total evenly between the memory and the netbook. Why, I do not know.)

Conclusion: if you want to get your Windows tax refunded, order through someone like Amazon who can afford to throw you a bone to keep you happy. Your mileage may vary, but if the manufacturer doesn’t pull through, Amazon (probably) will.

His statement that Android is missing an element of human warmth: .. okay, sure. I’m sorry that using this os doesn’t make you feel warm and fuzzy inside, and that the Android phone doesn’t carry with it an aura personally imbued by Steve Jobs. This is not objective.

Someone corrected him on the icons rant, fortunately. This would be a solid case of user error, and throws some of his competency into question. It’s anecdote-against-anecdote, but I’ve had touch events misfire perhaps once. Could easily have something to do with the hardware at that point.

Regarding the lack of “beautiful” applications. Ignoring for a moment that the SDK has only been out since August 2008, making judgments on an operating system based on applications written by 3rd party developers is complete and utter bs.

Why does the VNC application I bought and paid for crash on the Nexus One with a Java.IO error? Because your entire OS is fragmented, poorly driven, poorly policed, and because in typical Google fashion, you’re already on to the next thing before making this an absolutely flawless experience for users.

VNC: because you bought an application from some idiot developer who doesn’t know what he’s doing. Google’s objective is not to police the entire experience, and here be the difference between Android and the iPhone os. Android is about letting whoever wants to make whatever the hell they want out of it. The iPhone (and everything else that Apple has ever touched) is strictly policed, to use this guy’s description, lest anything pollute this hallowed ground.

Though I am curious as what exactly he means by the os being “fragmented”. I’m hoping he’s referring to (again) the interface and available applications, not the actual os, as he would here be making a mistake. As observed, the coders at Google are exceedingly good at what they do.

What happened to ferociously making sure the absolute core applications in your package were 100% perfect before shipping? BlackBerry’s email application is flawless. Apple’s web browser is flawless. But there’s not a single application on Android that doesn’t have carbon spots in it. (Look it up)

Because Google’s vested interest is not in the applications. (With the exception of Gmail, Maps, Chat, Voice, and the others – all of which are exceedingly solid apps.) They build the os. In a handful of cases, they also step in and work on the experience itself – see the Nexus One.

+1 Elitism for using ‘carbon spots’, and +1 again for being sufficiently condescending that you feel it necessary to tell the reader to look it up. It’s a mistake to imply that Apple’s corpus of software is without such flaws. It is true that they focus heavily on polish and veneer before shipping – this is simply what they do, and it is integral to their process. Google, not so much. This is why Gmail was released as a clearly flawed beta, back in the day – brilliant software with a couple dim spots can still be hugely beneficial for a user with a modicum of intelligence, and thus does Google make it available to the user before it’s completely finished. Different ways of doing business. As a user, you can choose to live within a glossy white box with rounded corners, or .. not, really. There are less closed options of equal or greater quality/functionality, but yeah, out here not everything has been rubbed down by Steve Jobs’ exacting vision.

Here’s another issue on why for the foreseeable future Android won’t be anything like what Apple or another company can offer: coders aren’t designers. It’s really as simple as that and anyone in the business will know exactly what I’m talking about. That’s why Apple’s entire developer ecosystem is different, because believe it or not, Apple’s developers are amazing designers that make beautiful things, and they happen to know how to code. That’s entirely different from someone who’s the best coder in the world and trying to create something that looks, works, and feels great. And so, this is my issue with Android and why you won’t see applications of iPhone-quality on Android aside from any SDK and programming hurdles.

Coders aren’t designers. Agreed. Thus, Apple hires designers. Their brand dictates that every single product display the same aesthetic, so yeah, if their developers create something new, the designers are going to be working on it with equal effort. Google isn’t in the business of making beautiful things. Google makes systems that allow people to get things done, and that applies with Android. You can write whatever the hell you want for the thing. The iPhone’s app store is moderated, and this is why they have the applications that they do. Android Market is indeed more like a free market, and functions as such – the operative ideas here are completely different.

The point of Android is not to offer up an open source implementation of the iPhone os. If that’s what you expect, then yeah, you’ll be disappointed. Please move on; your Jobs pinup needs some love and we’re working here.

… sigh. It’s the internet, fanboys will have their say. Are they completely wrong, probably not. Are they lacking some objectivity, yeah. In boatloads. Then again, the consumer is not objective, and will be rendering judgment based on who they themselves are and the way they think. The Android vs iPhone situation is not dissimilar to Ubuntu vs OSX. It’s not a 1:1 situation, but a lot of the core differences (heh) are present. If you’re happy in your glowing Apple-branded bubble, then fine, there’s a whole industry out there that’ll be more than pleased to make sure you never turn around. The rest of us will be over here, blinders off.

My thanks to Anthony and the Blue Ayes crew for a memorable celebration. Good memories.

I’ll be in my hometown for a couple weeks, over Christmas at least, and will then be moving further north to UW Superior. IIT was valuable in its own right (albeit less for the education and more for the people), but it’s evidently time to move on. I hear it’s slightly colder there.