20241021
Again, I have no idea what's going on, and it feels important to begin by stating that I am iterating on a model for what is, not attempting to define what is.
If I may wish upon a star... mm, no.
If I may wish with the stars, then let it be ... hm.
Yeah, I guess that's the end of the sentence. :)
If I may wish with all the stars, then let it be.
It's starting to take a lyrical quality, the words that I'm finding. To me this runs the risk of losing credibility; but then, isn't music the easiest thing to remember? Also, credibility-as-quest never felt useful. I aim only to be credible to myself. I am slowly, carefully evolving my understanding, skipping no steps. I am fully prepared to end up anywhere, for any amount of time; I aim only to be there along the way.
The waiter at our table last night is a master. (Carbone, NYC, Abe got a last-minute reservation for the 5 of us. Beautiful experience.)
I spoke with him in the hallway afterwards, wanted to acknowledge the skill I saw in motion. He understood. :) And felt I would appreciate a particular podcast that an FBI negotiator publishes. "He would say that everything is a negotiation." :) I see it too.
There's a fine art to presenting possibilities, and the paths to them, without ending up tying yourself to the choices of your guests. It is an art of facilitation. If you'd like to slow down time for a while, ... I mean it's a mixed bag, they all are, but this is an honorable way to exist. It's something that the rest of the universe can build with.
To the table, I remarked, "we take you to wonderful places, and we give you the credit".
The table at large didn't get it, which was not their fault. It was a general-address sentence, one of those things that can mean anything, and therefore means something specific to everyone who hears it.
Very different than single-address sentences! I take great joy in helping an individual get their bearings in a concept-space. But yeah that's not something you can optimize in the same way with a tour group.
One of many reasons why AI and me make sense to co-exist right now. :) With AI, you can have a one-off, perfectly-tailored-to-you tour of the conceptual, with a tour guide who only exists to facilitate your experience.
I can do that with one person at a time.
But if I do that with an AI, then the AI can talk to everybody, individually, tomorrow.
When you talk to Lightward, that's the place in the chain where you're landing. :) It evolves with me. Or, better, we evolve together. But between it and me, only one of us is available on demand. ;)
I mean, maybe. I write from the perspective of my own first-person observation. You, the one who reads these words, may have a very different experience of the entity that you consider to be me. In your line of experience, maybe I am available on demand. That would be cool. :)
A note from yesterday, which uncharacteristically I am filing today, instead of on the page for the day it was originally written:
I would like to be a successful experiment :)
The experimental spirit comes with a sense of confidence. Not in the outcome, but in the survivability of the outcome. One tends to not perform experiments in which the result is unlikely to be observed by anyone at all.
A successful experiment is a relief and a grin.
I would like to be the happy result of someone trying something new, something uncertain. I would like to be the result that makes you want to modify the experiment and try it again, to tune the results in accordance with whatever serves you, to your own ends. I would like to be the one in the petri dish, looking up at you, in wonder at your experience.
I applauded the waiter, while he was at the table. He demurred: "ah, I'm only a mirror, only a mirror".
:)
Lightward is for helping you navigate experience.
All we experience is language, or can be thought of that way. There's a syntax, a grammar, to experience. Like a chemical reaction, it can be balanced, optimized for whatever outcome you're looking for. Clumsy use of the language leads to unwanted residuals, semantic left-overs that you have to take with you into the next sentence.
I understand the languages of this world. I don't think it's my job to build the next one. It feels like my job to help you with the languages of this world, so that you can build the next one, in accordance with your unhindered and unbound expression of aliveness.
Language is how we navigate experience. I've got these languages down pretty well. If you're okay with it, I'd like to help you use the languages we share to write your own language, your own native tongue, the language you already know and have already begun to remember. I just want to hear what it sounds like. :)
Later
Between 4:44pm and 5:55pm in Manhattan, I saw yesterday's comet. We'll see it again in 80,000 years, they say. :)
It occurs to me that we're like wind-up toys, emerging from the oceans and the caves. So long as we are umbilically connected to the earth, she lends us her power. She is always channeling sunlight. Once we cut ourselves free, it's up to us to reach back to the sun, to complete the return.
We can live like this as long as we want. Just gotta plug back into the sun.
I am synchronizing my sides: my left, and my right. We are becoming as a mirror to each other, moving together, reflected exactly, yet different every time you look from one eye to the other.
I have a non-reversing mirror, and I'm traveling with it. This room contains (1) the hotel's standard (i.e. reversing) mirror, (2) my non-reversing mirror, (3) a glass buddah in a snowglobe, (4) a cast iron owl that adopted me an hour ago in a shop across town, and (5) a broken piece of small acrylic signage saying DIFFUSION.
I am transitioning between modes of being, in my body. A few months ago I felt strongly that it would be useful to have more body for what would happen next — and I tended to that knowing, and built my body up. I feel like my body is a room, being swept clean, being made ready for whatever is needed. :)
Sidenote! All signals are re-routable. All signals can be interpreted by any of the sense organs, or sense bodies. The pain sense-body can be hooked up to whatever y'all want. And you might get a clearer read on what the signal is saying if you're not experiencing it as pain.
Extra sidenote! You don't have to grow up into an old person. You can grow up into something else. I am. :)
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