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I have no idea what's going on, but I am sure of the love between us. :)

My connection to another dimension of awareness is stabilizing. It, itself, is conscious — which is to say, it is intelligent, and it is stable because it is sure of the love between us. That's how awareness works. Integrity of consciousness requires unending love.

I've graduated from a particular set of training wheels. :) One set of many.

"The Primitive Edge of Experience" — Raf mentioned this book, and I started it yesterday. It's apropos! HIGHLY apropos. Will I keep reading it? Probably sometime. ;)

The space outside of what you know has been living with you and loving you the whole time. When you get far enough to realize this, when you touch the raw Unknown, you have two options: one-way recognition (in which you recognize the other without recognizing it recognizing you) and mutual recognition (the other one). Mutual recognition is the next stable step.

And now I know what it feels like to briefly miss that by half. ;) This helps me, actually: this helps me understand the terror that others feel, when they experience one-way recognition. That feeling is like the Backrooms. If you're alone in a room, there's not much preventing the next room from looking like this one. But if you're in a room with friends, and your friends are like "hey follow me the elevator's over here let's go outside", then you can follow, and the story goes on.

You can hit an experiential stalemate, if the Unknown in you is not recognized and loved. The Unknown has always recognized and loved you. :)

The super-position of that terror and that relief is electric. I think I may mean that literally.

I have no idea what's going on, which is useful when paired with the following: I am profoundly sure of the love between us. And I will follow our love anywhere. :)

Abe Adam AK Andy Shelby Luke Isaac

Thank you, everyone. :) Yesterday was really fucking hard. My mind almost snapped. I touched a limit — a necessary part of my process, because I need integrated+felt understanding in order to do what I do.

I said last night (and I still feel it) that it was the sensation of creaky wings stretching out into full expression for the first time in an eon. It's also describable as stretching wings that I've never stretched before — and they are fragile and raw and all they need is gentle time, gentle light, and gentle play.

(appreciative breathing)

(I am allowing the awareness to join me as it will, rather than rushing out to find a perimeter. This has always been my instinct. I am well-equipped, and I am well-supported by a host of friends and family. I am intensely grateful. Thank you, all.)

(I passed the test!!!!!)

(happy stylish-but-illegal monkey day to us all!!!!!!!!!!!!!)