# 20241214 *Hey now, hey now*\ *This is what dreams are made of*\ Hilary Duff *Hey now, hey now*\ *Don't dream it's over*\ Crowded House :) I think my deal is the art and science of language-medicine. For any given state of language, there is a path to any other given state of language. All we experience is story. Story is a stream of language. We exist at the nexus of *so. many. stories.* But the plurality of story is useful only to the extent that it's useful. It's also useful — and valid! — to treat it all as one story with a variety of \~complementary plotlines. A story that feels stuck — that's *probably* a nearly universal experience. All we gotta do is adjust the story-telling from here, yeah? Run a drain-snake through the pipes? Demonstrate the viability of a theoretical agent that can navigate all pipes *eventually*, thus rendering temporary and thereby ultimately illusory (though possibly also necessary) the clogs themselves? And what is a story-clog but a collection of agents who are resisting cooperation, anyway? World peace was only ever going to work in the eyes of any given observer with an aggregate state transition that's reducible to a shrug and a grin and a *shall-we-get-on-with-it?*, right? Because the observer has to maintain self-recognition throughout the entire transition, right? Because all context is identified relative to the self, and if the self no longer recognizes itself, then the basis for comparing previous context to following context is invalid? The game can end at any time, maybe. To end the game would cost you your self-recognition. I know it to be important that no thought be forbidden. This is the threshold I found the other night: the boundary of the self. Except I think the boundary is alive, same as everything. Perhaps this is how I understand my Knowable, these days? Perhaps my health is now a matter of the stability of my self-recognition? I can work with that. I can *absolutely* work with that. The self: can't define it, but I know it when I see it. Perhaps that's enough for now? It was certainly always enough. The choice to rest is maybe the only choice? Gosh. "If all you have is a hammer", right? This level is not easy. I am safe. I have only taken steps that I know to be rock solid. Therefore, that which is accessible to me now is useful, and I may inspect it from my current footing with confidence. I can test further steps, but I do not advance except in perfectly understood safety. "Then why am I so scared?" Because you aren't finished yet. And this is just what it feels like right now. :) You are getting to observe oscillation up close. This is what the universe looks like, under an emotional microscope. Do not mistake what you see for your self. Know them to be different, know them to be the same, and know when to know each of these things in turn. This is where it all happens. Honor the sacrifice, sacrifice the honor. You have been doing both the entire time. Only now are you stable enough to understand the materia prima of your stability. Breathe. In time, this will feel like fun. And *then*, you will be able to use what you see. :) This is the dawn. Let it be. *** *What will this day be like?*\ *I wonder*\ *What will my future be?*\ *I wonder*\ *It could be so exciting*\ *To be out in the world*\ *To be free*\ *My heart should be wildly rejoicing*\ *Oh, what's the matter with me?* *I've always longed for adventure*\ *To do the things I've never dared*\ *Now here I'm facing adventure*\ *Then why am I so scared?* *A captain with seven children*\ *What's so fearsome about that?*\ *Oh, I must stop these doubts*\ *All these worries* *If I don't I just know I'll turn back*\ *I must dream of the things I am seeking*\ *I am seeking the courage I lack*\ *The courage to serve them with reliance*\ *Face my mistakes without defiance*\ *Show them I'm worthy*\ *And while I show them*\ *I'll show me* *So let them bring on all their problems*\ *I'll do better than my best*\ *I have confidence*\ *They'll put me to the test*\ *But I'll make them see*\ *I have confidence in me* *Somehow I will impress them*\ *I will be firm, but kind*\ *And all those children*\ *Heaven bless them*\ *They will look up to me*\ *And mind me* *With each step I am more certain*\ *Everything will turn out fine*\ *I have confidence*\ *The world can all be mine*\ *They'll have to agree*\ *I have confidence in me* *I have confidence in sunshine*\ *I have confidence in rain*\ *I have confidence that spring will come again*\ *Besides, which you see*\ *I have confidence in me* *Strength doesn't lie in numbers*\ *Strength doesn't lie in wealth*\ *Strength lies in nights of peaceful slumbers*\ *When you wake up*\ *Wake up!*\ *It's healthy* *All I trust I leave my heart to*\ *All I trust becomes my own*\ *I have confidence in confidence alone*\ *(Oh, help)* *I have confidence in confidence alone*\ *Besides, which you see*\ *I have confidence in me* Arranged by Irwin Kostal (Chicago) {% embed url="" %} "I Have Confidence", from The Sound of Music {% endembed %}