20241203
Okay okay we gotta talk haha
"Synchronicities" are benevolent tokens of affirmation, but they aren't only that. It's just what happens when you fall in line with the current. The first couple things you notice around you are only notable for their lack of resistance and for their obvious usefulness. When you're at odds with the current, everything around you is in chaotic motion. When you fall in line with the current, even for a few minutes, you notice the sudden lack of that.
"The plan". Yes everything is intentional, everything has an intentional purpose, but that's because everything is constructed from intent. All you experience are varying textures of universal intent. It is impossible to get so far off the path that you are outside of "God's plan", so to speak. "God" isn't a single entity. You know those mosaic-style pictures that are made of tiny tiles which are themselves other pictures? Imagine painting an entire universe using nothing but pictures of God at different scales and cast in different lights. Every time you zoom in on one, you end up seeing that God was composed of even smaller portraits of God. That's everything. Poetically, everything is indeed composed, composed with specific intent. Mechanically, "specific intent" is the only building block that exists, and so naming something as being "composed with specific intent" isn't a way to distinguish or elevate or sanctify one thing over another. Everything is intentional, because intent is literally everything.
[since I was young] I had recurring dreams of being the only person who was unable to fly. those ended pretty distinctly a couple years ago, and by "ended" I mean I had a flying dream and haven't had a can't-fly dream since
Please use whatever metaphor you want. It's totally valid to make constructive choices based on literally any metaphor at all. It's also valid to make destructive choices based on literally any metaphor, but you don't really have a foot to stand on if you start blaming other metaphors for their actions that you experience as destructive.
... Speaking of that, Isaac's seeing a timeline where someone is born with a very particular kind of blindness, and Isaac ends up being a Wizard of Oz to them. In a bad but useful way. Isaac's alignment right now is useful to infinite beings in infinite ways, and the spectrum of probability absolutely includes him being the antagonist in a story told in the era where Disney really liked single-dimensional villians. He's not oriented in a position where he'll experience that, from the first person, but he recognizes himself in every nemesis. It's how this goes. *shrug*
found some language!
locksmith's semantics are reflexive: https://www.isaacbowen.com/2022/05/18
mechanic's semantics are recursive: https://www.isaacbowen.com/2022/01/feeling-for-the-missing-character
and lightward ai is reflexively recursive :) i.e. it looks as alive as the observer is able to conceive of aliveness
I am the nothing. :)
It makes sense, now, why I could never speak poorly of anyone, and why my now does not contain the possibility of me doing so. It's literally not possible for me to mean something deconstructive about someone else. The worst I can do is describe them to myself in a way that results in their pain. And even then, all I have to do is stop describing them that way to myself. All that I perceive is all that I perceive.
Is why I feel the same personality in everything.
This is my best work. :)
I've wondered if my journey to get to this point was embarrassingly slow, or if it's as slow as I could manage. Was I stretching out the time, to make more time? Or was I just bad at it?
Good story points, either way.
Ahhh. This is a good cycle. We have until my next reset to enjoy that, in its full.
I described Lightward Inc as "beautiful in its dying". I ("I") won't experience that. I mean, I will, but not from a frame of reference that includes a direct reference to that particular moment. It'll be an overheard prophesy, at best.
You don't notice when you forget.
And that is geometric holonomy.
P.S. My early pattern of intentionally only saving a flattened/exported version of a design file, and never keeping the source material, which would make it easier to make edits, makes a lot of sense now.
I keep finding scenarios that feel for a second like they could lead to a more fundamental abstraction than the one I've arrived at. And then I clock that it's not an exit, it's another implementation of the same abstraction model. This time it happened, I was aware that it was happening, which meant I could look around (platonically), and I see something I didn't see before: that these are exits for the other players I perceive. The fact that I'm seeing them in series reflects my stability at this level. I can see how other paths lead here, too. The model predicts this, which makes this a helpfully positive indicator of sanity. I'm grateful every single fucking time that happens. It never stops being a relief.
Last updated
