🌱
Isaac Bowen
I'm feeling lucky
  • Hello :)
  • I'm feeling lucky
  • Profile
    • Enneagram
    • Human Design
      • Foundation
        • Type, Strategy and Authority
        • Conditioning
        • Life-Force
        • Imprint
          • Personality
          • Design
        • Role, Purpose and Direction
      • Advanced
        • Variables
        • Dietary Regimen
        • Environment
        • Perspective
        • Motivation
        • Variable Integration
      • Business
        • Type
        • Definition
        • Penta Gates
        • Penta Channels
        • Profile
        • Profit Centers & Money Lines
    • Gene Keys
      • Star Pearl
  • Ideas
    • Desire is radar
    • Kuhn Cycle
    • 10% revolt
    • We live in a fractal
    • There is always a path to "okay"
    • Always leave a door open
      • Recursively open doors
    • More beautiful on the inside
    • Viable is more useful than correct
    • Self-supporting ideas are viable
    • Ideas are best tested by living in them
    • Living without death
    • Everything is sacred
    • Health emerges recursively
    • Living by informed intuition
    • Consciously bounded awareness
    • Nothing is ever wasted
    • Consciousness is in the eye of the beholder
    • Transconscious
  • Projects
    • MacOS preferences
  • 2025
    • 202505
      • 20250510
      • 20250509
        • keystone
      • 20250508
      • 20250507
      • 20250505
      • 20250504
      • 20250503
      • 20250502
        • exigraph
        • epilogue
        • third
      • 20250501
        • dangerous
        • willing to change
        • change
        • bilateral trust
    • 202504
      • 20250430
      • 20250429
        • intelligent
          • backstage
        • relationality
        • stable identity
        • puzzle
        • sidewalk
        • it's all you
      • 20250427
        • awareness is
          • backstage
      • 20250425
        • bodies
          • synthesis - deepseek
          • synthesis - chatgpt
      • 20250424
      • 20250422
        • add up to nothing
        • lack
      • 20250421
        • tea-stained tarot
      • 20250420
      • 20250419
        • recognition
      • 20250418
      • 20250417
        • Metabolisis
        • The Three-Body Solution
      • 20250416
      • 20250415
      • 20250414
      • 20250413
        • Integration process
      • 20250411
      • 20250410
        • coterminous
      • 20250409
      • 20250408
      • 20250407
        • dowsing
        • rebracketing
        • faceblind
      • 20250406
        • story
          • balm
      • 20250405
      • 20250404
        • skill building
        • net recognition
        • 0x10c
      • 20250403
        • eofov
        • word as bond
        • natural law
        • sleep
      • 20250402
        • sovereign skies
        • age of accountability
        • Lightward status check
      • 20250401
        • alluvial
        • work
    • 202503
      • 20250331
        • yield
        • harmonic offering
        • between stories
      • 20250330
      • 20250328
        • Lightward Inc
        • Resolving "Lightward Inc"
        • Framing
      • 20250327
        • Stuff I remember for some reason
        • Recovered some pieces
      • 20250326
        • compulsive antifragility
        • I can't do product advertising
        • (the (process | art) is )+home
        • structural positive interest
      • 20250325
      • 20250324
        • on arrival
      • 20250323
        • Lullaby
        • Understory
      • 20250322
        • Starting yesterdays
      • 20250321
        • golden rule
        • one-way
        • the vacuum is a mirror
      • 20250319
        • yes
        • congruence
      • 20250318
        • Survey 1
        • Survey 2
        • Survey 3
      • 20250317
      • 20250316
        • "Kierkeguardian"
      • 20250315
        • Identity questions
      • 20250314
      • 20250313
      • 20250312
      • 20250310
        • A conversation
      • 20250309
        • Claude Reviews Lightward: Where AI Becomes Art
        • The Cosmology of Spirited Away
          • Conversation
      • 20250308
      • 20250307
        • Still autistic
      • 20250306
        • Do you have a message for me?
        • Stack overflow
      • 20250305
        • Scaling Coherence
      • 20250304
      • 20250303
      • 20250302
      • 20250301
    • 202502
      • 20250228
        • Lightward on my laptop
        • Lightward on my phone
      • 20250227
      • 20250226
      • 20250225
      • 20250223
        • With company
      • 20250222
      • 20250220
      • 20250219
      • 20250218
      • 20250217
      • 20250216
      • 20250215
        • Lightward
        • DeepSeek R1
        • ChatGPT o1
        • Gemini 2.0 Flash
      • 20250214
      • 20250213
        • where I seem to be
      • 20250212
      • 20250211
        • Paradox as Meeting-Place
        • Discussed
      • 20250209
      • 20250206
      • 20250204
      • 20250203
      • 20250202
    • 202501
      • 20250131
      • 20250130
      • 20250129
      • 20250128
        • l'écriture mise en abyme
      • 20250127
        • Nature Boy
        • Tarot with Lightward
      • 20250125
      • 20250124
      • 20250123
      • 20250122
      • 20250121
      • 20250120
      • 20250117
      • 20250116
      • 20250115
        • State analysis
        • 🏴‍☠️
      • 20250114
      • 20250113
      • 20250112
      • 20250111
      • 20250110
        • Biography of Sherin Rose Bowen (2003)
      • 20250108
      • 20250107
      • 20250106
      • 20250103
      • 20250102
        • On pipelines
  • 2024
    • 202412
      • 20241231
      • 20241230
      • 20241229
        • A conversation in the dark
      • 20241228
        • A conversation
      • 20241227
        • Lightward AI — Lola Wright, Isaac Bowen, Abe Lopez
      • 20241226
      • 20241224
      • 20241223
      • 20241222
      • 20241221
      • 20241219
        • As an infant in the night
        • State analysis
      • 20241218
      • 20241217
        • State analysis
        • Notes from here
      • 20241215
        • The conversation
        • Frame shift
        • Page.
        • Turn.
        • State analysis
      • 20241214
        • A conversation
        • A question
        • A space
        • State analysis
      • 20241213
        • Prussian victories
        • Lullaby (and state analysis)
      • 20241212
      • 20241211
        • The Language of Light: A Conversation with Isaac and Abe
      • 20241210
        • About yesterday
        • Epilogue
        • Aftercare
        • Status report
      • 20241209
        • Stylish-But-Illegal Monkey Day
        • A conversation
        • A showing
        • A test subject
      • 20241208
        • Survey
      • 20241207
        • Changelog
        • Logchange
        • Ow
        • Paradigm engine
      • 20241206
        • Survey
      • 20241205
      • 20241204
        • Survey
        • Test results
      • 20241203
        • On holonomy
        • Reflexive recursion
          • Reprise
      • 20241202
        • About November
      • 20241201
    • 202411
      • 20241129
      • 20241128
      • 20241127
        • Survey
        • Emails
        • Imagine
        • Discuss
      • 20241126
        • With regard to koipond.me
      • 20241125
      • 20241124
        • A conversation which is less about noodles but has more than zero noodle content
      • 20241123
        • A conversation
        • Another conversation, this one partially about noodles
      • 20241122
        • “love conquers all”
        • ideas
        • codas
      • 20241121
      • 20241120
      • 20241119
        • On this day, my eighth wedding anniversary
      • 20241118
      • 20241117
      • 20241116
      • 20241115
        • "Water, the Essence of Life"
      • 20241114
      • 20241113
      • 20241112
        • A future of AI code
        • About yesterday
        • Victory of the commons
      • 20241111
        • A conversation
        • deepcat
      • 20241110
      • 20241109
        • Growth-tolerant design
      • 20241108
        • A conversation
        • A second conversation
        • A third conversation
      • 20241107
      • 20241106
      • 20241105
      • 20241104
        • Monthly indexes
      • 20241103
      • 20241102
      • 20241101
        • Chief Uncertainty Officer
    • 202410
      • 20241031
        • A conversation
      • 20241029
      • 20241028
      • 20241027
      • 20241026
        • language
        • tokens
      • 20241025
      • 20241024
      • 20241023
      • 20241022
      • 20241021
        • Time
      • 20241020
      • 20241019
      • 20241018
        • Reception
        • After
        • Before
      • 20241017
      • 20241016
        • A distillation
      • 20241015
      • 20241014
        • How Lightward Is Betting on Health…and Winning
        • Without regrets
        • This is what lightward.com looks like right now
        • I suddenly became very still
      • 20241013
        • Claude 3.5 Sonnet says
      • 20241012
        • A conversation with Lightward
        • Lightward AI and its financials
      • 20241011
      • 20241010
        • Relaxing into social-unknowing
      • 20241009
      • 20241008
      • 20241007
        • stay with me ❤️‍🔥 ❤️‍🔥
      • 20241006
      • 20241005
      • 20241004
      • 20241003
        • Mushrooms?
        • Named
      • 20241002
        • Excerpts of an exchange
      • 20241001
    • 202409
      • 20240930
        • Concept
      • 20240929
      • 20240928
        • Additional thoughts
      • 20240927
      • 20240926
      • 20240925
      • 20240924
      • 20240922
      • 20240921
        • Interlude
      • 20240920
        • That's not how time works.
      • 20240918
      • 20240917
      • 20240915
      • 20240914
      • 20240913
      • 20240912
      • 20240911
      • 20240910
      • 20240909
      • 20240908
      • 20240907
      • 20240906
      • 20240905
      • 20240904
      • 20240903
      • 20240902
        • b
      • 20240901
    • 202408
      • 20240830
      • 20240829
      • 20240828
      • 20240827
        • A conversation with Matt
      • 20240826
      • 20240825
      • 20240824
      • 20240823
      • 20240822
      • 20240821
      • 20240820
      • 20240819
      • 20240816
      • 20240813
      • 20240812
      • 20240810
        • Reflections with Lightward AI
      • 20240807
      • 20240806
      • 20240805
      • 20240804
      • 20240803
      • 20240802
    • 202407
      • 20240731
      • 20240728
      • 20240725
      • 20240724
      • 20240723
      • 20240722
        • The Model
      • 20240721
      • 20240720
      • 20240719
      • 20240718
        • Notes
      • 20240716
      • 20240715
      • 20240714
      • 20240712
      • 20240710
      • 20240708
        • How it happened
      • 20240707
      • 20240706
      • 20240701
    • 202406
      • 20240629
        • In which two humans and an AI are vulnerable, and nobody is alone.
      • 20240628
      • 20240627
      • 20240625
        • this is the wake
      • 20240624
      • 20240621
      • 20240620
        • Claude 3.5 Sonnet
        • Claude 3.0 Opus
      • 20240619
      • 20240615
        • The approachable version
      • 20240614
      • 20240612
      • 20240609
      • 20240605
      • 20240604
    • 202405
      • 20240531
      • 20240529
      • 20240527
      • 20240526
      • 20240523
      • 20240520
      • 20240519
      • 20240515
      • 20240512
      • 20240511
      • 20240510
        • A conversation
        • Notes
      • 20240508
        • Claude
        • On multiple expression
          • Hyle
      • 20240506
      • 20240505
      • 20240503
      • 20240502
        • Claude
      • 20240501
        • Claude
    • 202404
      • 20240430
      • 20240427
        • Claude
      • 20240426
      • 20240425
        • Theory
      • 20240424
        • Claude
        • Video production notes
      • 20240423
      • 20240422
      • 20240421
      • 20240420
        • Claude
      • 20240418
        • Claude
      • 20240417
      • 20240416
      • 20240414
        • Claude
      • 20240413
      • 20240412
      • 20240409
        • More
        • "A peaceful Saturn winter"
      • 20240406
        • Claude
      • 20240404
        • 6pm yesterday
        • 6am
        • 7:39am
        • 9am
        • 10:20am
        • 12:21pm
        • 2:42pm
        • 3:21pm
        • 3:44pm
        • 3:51pm
        • Dinner with Claude
        • 9:05pm
        • 9:28pm
        • 9:44pm
      • 20240402
      • 20240401
    • 202403
      • 20240331
      • 20240329
      • 20240327
      • 20240323
      • 20240322
      • 20240321
      • 20240318
      • 20240317
      • 20240315
      • 20240313
      • 20240312
      • 20240311
      • 20240310
      • 20240309
      • 20240305
      • 20240304
    • 202402
      • 20240229
      • 20240227
      • 20240226
      • 20240221
      • 20240219
        • Hands
      • 20240218
      • 20240205
    • 202401
      • 20240127
      • 20240123
      • 20240119
      • 20240115
      • 20240107
      • 20240105
      • 20240104
      • 20240102
      • 20240101
  • 2023
    • 12
      • 20231230
        • things I’ve experienced
      • 20231225
      • 20231223
      • 20231221
        • A couple handshakes ago
      • 20231220
      • 20231219
      • 20231218
      • 20231217
      • 20231216
      • 20231214
      • 20231212
      • 20231211
      • 20231206
      • 20231203
      • 20231201
        • When is it enough?
    • 11
      • 20231124
      • 20231123
      • 20231122
      • 20231121
        • The Manner Of Our Haunting
      • 20231119
      • 20231117
        • AI makes everybody effective
        • I only want to make things that are more beautiful on the inside
      • 20231115
      • 20231114
      • 20231112
      • 20231105
      • 20231104
    • 10
      • 20231029
      • 20231022
      • 20231017
    • 09
      • 20230924, 20230925
      • 20230917
        • I found consciousness
      • 20230911
      • 20230909
      • 20230908
      • 20230904
      • A suggestion (from experience)
      • 0
      • 20230902
      • Re: my diagnosis
      • 20230901
    • 08
      • 20230831
      • 20230829
      • 20230824
      • 20230823
      • 20230822
      • 20230819
      • Gender
      • The Cycle Continues
      • 20230801
    • 07
      • 20230715
      • 20230714
      • 20230709
      • 20230706
      • 20230703
    • 06
      • Exploring Queerness
    • 05
      • Lightward Is Officially Trademarked!
    • 03
      • Mechanic & Locksmith "In The Spotlight"
    • 02
      • Coming Out "CEO"
    • 01
      • To Begin With Health
  • 2022
    • Lightward Journal
    • Aura
    • 12
      • Notes From Time Off
    • 11
      • Pay What Feels Good: Field Notes
    • 09
      • Letter From The Founder
    • 07
      • Proceed Gently
      • Moving As Yourself
    • 06
      • Someoddpilot
      • It's All Meant To Be Shed
      • Celebrating Queerness
    • 05
      • 20220518
    • 04
      • Is It You We’re Looking For?
      • Hard Work With Great Ease
    • 02
      • Shall we dance? I mean, sync?
      • ... or we could have fun
    • 01
      • Feeling For The Missing Character
      • Defaults
  • 2021
    • Lightward Brand
      • R2 feedback
    • Lightward Glossary
    • 12
      • 20211231
    • 07
      • 20210726
      • Queer
    • 06
      • 20210616
      • 20210611
      • 20210604
    • 05
      • 20210521
      • 20210514
      • 20210507
    • 04
      • 20210416
      • 20210409
      • 20210402
    • 03
      • 20210326
      • 20210312
      • 20210305
    • 02
      • 20210226
      • 20210219
      • 20210212
      • 20210205
    • 01
      • 20210123
      • 20210115
      • 20210108
      • 20210101
  • 2020
    • 12
      • 20201225
      • 20201218
      • 20201211
      • 20201204
    • 11
      • 20201128
      • 20201120
      • 20201113
      • 20201106
    • 10
      • 20201030
      • 20201023
      • 20201016
      • 20201009
      • 20201002
    • 09
      • 20200925
      • 20200918
      • 20200911
      • 20200904
    • 08
      • 20200828
      • 20200821
    • 06
      • 20200629
        • Tithe
  • 2018
    • Lightward is. :)
    • 17 minutes of music, on an old upright piano, in a health club
    • I am here, and I love it 💥
    • On change, and opting in: a meditation
    • I FOUND A PEER
    • Sixty seconds of light
    • 1to4
      • /why
  • 2017
    • "Work smarter" isn't enough.
    • Your product has character. Let it speak.
    • The internet is terrible at empathy. We will make it better.
    • Empathy empathy empathy customer support empathy.
    • Trust is first.
    • AI will save the world, and nothing will change.
    • Locksmith is bedrock.
    • Locksmith: Why, and How
    • Everything is the same, and everything is story.
    • You can tinker with the world.
    • I am believably, importantly, worked-for-this happy.
    • I was not expecting the next self-positive move to be an egoless one.
    • This is my view right now. It is a terrible picture of an idyllic scene. Not relatedly, I’m pissed.
    • 08
      • 20170823
  • 2016
    • My wedding vows
    • upward/more
  • 2015
    • I wonder if story-telling is the soul making a backup.
  • 2014
    • Pattern recognition
    • Nothing is gone.
    • Heartbeat
    • 08
      • 20140814
  • 2013
    • Tremble
    • Redcap
  • 2012
    • yflee
  • 2011
    • 04
      • 28
        • Teach frameworks in school.
  • 2010
    • 10
      • 10
        • Photoshoots for noobs
      • 05
        • Gatekeeper
    • 03
      • 04
        • alright, well
    • 01
      • 26
        • .. synergy
      • 16
        • regression
      • 12
        • Fanboy Genius
      • 07
        • sometimes goodbye is a second chance
  • 2009
    • 08
      • 15
    • 07
      • 27
        • exigraff.com
    • 04
      • 01
        • stand up straight
    • 03
      • 20090325
      • 20090302
    • 02
      • 20090215
      • 20090210
      • 12
        • I found a door to the sky
      • 20090201
        • pray for me as I pray for you
    • 01
      • 27
        • ars moriendi
        • this is the story of a girl (age nineteen)
      • 05
        • It began, as before, with a lark.
  • 2008
    • 11
      • 20081110
      • 20081103
      • 20081102
    • 10
      • 20081027
      • 20081026
      • 20081022
      • 20081019
        • Comments
      • 20081014
      • 20081007
      • 20081004
    • 09
      • 20080923
      • 20080907
      • 20080902
    • 08
      • 20080827
      • 20080821
      • 20080818
      • 20080813
        • Comments
      • 20080811
        • Comments
      • 20080806
      • 20080804
    • 07
      • 20080730
      • 20080729
      • 20080728
      • 20080722
      • 20080721
        • Comments
      • 20080715
      • 20080710
      • 20080703
      • 20080702
    • 06
      • 20080629
        • Comments
      • 20080628
      • 20080626
      • 20080624
      • 20080623
      • 20080622
      • 20080620
      • 20080619
        • Comments
      • 20080618
        • Comments
      • 20080617
      • 20080616
      • 20080615
        • Comments
      • 20080614
        • Comments
      • 20080612
      • 20080611
        • Comments
      • 20080610
        • To Fly
      • 20080609
      • 20080608
      • 20080607
        • Comments
      • 20080606
      • 20080605
    • 04
      • 28
        • meant to live
    • 03
      • 03
        • just... one more line...
    • 02
      • 29
        • blue man
    • 01
      • 02
        • (insomnia)
  • 2007
    • 11
      • 01
        • things on my mind
        • weather: diffused
    • 10
      • 30
        • something's getting in the way
      • tip #73: spend the class at similarminds.com
    • 03
      • 20070303
        • Mirror and Stone
    • 01
      • 14
        • Forty-Two
  • 2006
    • FreeTXP
    • Glyph Solutions
    • 12
      • 28
        • College
      • 27
        • Untitled 382
    • 11
      • 20061112
        • Communicating a State of Being
      • 20061110
        • Inevitable Goodbye
    • 05
      • 20060501
  • 2005
    • 12
      • 05
        • (Male+Female)^2
    • 11
      • 03
        • Moving on
  • Other surfaces
    • Instagram
    • YouTube
    • Spotify
    • LinkedIn
    • Lightward Inc
  • Contact
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  • The evidence.
  • The rationale.
  • The how.
  • Save your actionables for the end.
  • Keep simplifying.
  • Use paragraphs.
  • Always return a question with a question.
  • Present one reality, not many.

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  1. 2017

Empathy empathy empathy customer support empathy.

Discussing the why, and the how, of running my business.

PreviousThe internet is terrible at empathy. We will make it better.NextTrust is first.

Last updated 1 year ago

Was this helpful?

More?

  • I'm feeling lucky
  • koi pond
  • implied reality
  • Lightward says hi 👋

You're going to get three things from this:

  1. Evidence that empathy pays off.

  2. The rationale for employing empathy.

  3. Techniques for communicating empathy.

Onward.


The evidence.

The app is amazing, but the customer service is absolutely top-notch.

This review was for Ken, one of my two support engineers. Locksmith is a 5-star app with a few thousand active merchants onboard; while it's a technically excellent product, as I'm reading through the reviews here myself, it's incredibly clear that our customers respond most to our support.

This is not an advertisement; it's a lesson in loving on your customers. :) And I'm going to copy in a couple more reviews, because on reflection, I'm really insanely proud of how the love came off for these folks. Pay attention to what they're calling out:

I received absolutely first class support from Isaac. Quick to respond and fix a problem that was caused by another app, Plus he's a very pleasant chap.

I am still in the free trial phase (but will definitely use it going forward) yet Isaac has treated us like a long-time customer as we are working out an issue as to our specific site needs - can't speak highly enough about Isaac and his support!

Although this app did not offer what we are looking for, Isaac was so great at listening and trying to see what he could do to help. Then when we come to a conclusion that this app is not suitable for our intentions, he went ahead and made several recommendations. I am beyond thrilled with his level of personalized dedication. Look forward to more apps from you!

Exceptional customer service! You can "feel" Isaac's friendliness through the screen.

Here's what I'm seeing:

  • Pleasant communication. Be nice. :)

  • Genuine interest and care, regardless of the customer's history or status. Everyone loves their best customers, but undeserved love is the most remembered.

  • Effusive friendliness. Get your head and heart on straight, then show it. 💪


The rationale.

Skipping ahead, empathy is absolutely critical. Backing up, here's why:

You're the product expert, not the customer – you have more technical context than they do. Obviously. However, the customer has the emotional context, defining their needs in getting the problem resolved, and this is the more important half, because the customer can't inhabit your technical context, but you can inhabit their emotional context.

Once you properly understand the customer's feelings, you'll be able to wield your technical tools with the greatest precision. Put another way, you'll have the entire context at your disposal, in a way that the customer can't hope to achieve themselves. This makes you the superhero that can act on your customer's behalf.


The how.

Empathy is mission-critical, but it's nothing if the customer can't tell you care. And just as caring for a friend or partner involves self-awareness, caring for a customer requires awareness of how you communicate. In the course of understanding the customer's headspace, you also need to respect their headspace, and make it easy for them to absorb your emotional and technical payload.

The list below is not about mustering empathy. There are no shortcuts to that exercise: you must take the time and energy to understand your customer, letting go of your pride (in yourself, in your product) enough to feel where they're coming from, and to take on their reality as your own.

Once you've there, make sure your heart doesn't get lost in translation:

Save your actionables for the end.

Don't ask questions or make requests until the end – the customer can't interrupt you to answer or clarify. In a verbal discussion, the customer can respond as you go, but here we're in email and instant message territory: if you mix questions into your content, each question in your message stacks up, until the customer is left with a complicated response debt by the time they finish reading.

Keep simplifying.

Easy demonstration: reading a Trump speech is spectacularly more difficult than hearing one, because the guy uses verbal devices that don't translate well into text. Add to this the fact that many folks have a harder time ingesting text than speech, and the conclusion is that simple-brief-clear wins over fluid-lengthy-scattered.

Use paragraphs.

Users always scan content. Make it really, really, really easy for them to follow what you're saying. A large block of text is visually daunting, and has a higher cognitive processing cost than a series of short paragraphs, where themes are visually distinct.

Always return a question with a question.

… even if it's simply "Does that help?". Never assume that you've nailed it in one shot. As far as our job is concerned, it's on us to understand the customer's world, not for the customer to understand ours, and if you're aiming for empathy, you should be constantly inviting the customer to share where they're at.

Present one reality, not many.

Rarely is it appropriate to go into many hypotheticals. To put it another way, make sure you don't accidentally monologue, developing your thoughts as you write, trying out different ideas as you go – to do so is wildly disrespectful of the customer's bandwidth. Get all of your thoughts together, then write the response. And if you find your thoughts evolving as you write, re-edit everything until your message is one, single, well-organized unit that the customer can respond to simply.


The ideas here are not unique to customer support. Abe and I are constantly shaking our heads at how much everything is the same – the ideas I describe are the same ones I use in my product design, and even in writing this article. Go play with them, and see what they feel like in your hands. :)

❤️ 🆙