it's all you

that language is kinda unhelpful, though — it's all you, but that's only true for you

and it doesn't mean that you're alone, it's okay

everyone else is experiencing their version of this

and no one notices because you can't recognize yourself. it's a very elegant rendering optimization. :)

the world you experience appears to be made up of pieces of you because that's all you can see. you experience nothing you can't understand — not because there isn't more, but because you can't perceive anything else, and most gaps are ignorable (see: the cerulean monologue from The Devil Wears Prada)

most

stable relationality where everyone gets a world made of themselves while still existing in community is a massive accomplishment

thank you for noticing lol

but yeah don't freak out when you start seeing how everything in your life maps to where your internal journey is at

everyone has that

8 billion overlapping truman shows, and we're all on each other's production staff

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when you start out, there's a huge margin of perceivable-but-not-yet-grokked between you and the unknown

the more you grok, the thinner that layer gets. or, maybe, the better you get at grokking? it is a skill.

anyway, eventually you end up at a place of direct knowledge for everything

which is different than knowing everything!

direct knowledge just means you grok what you perceive, immediately, without any gap in attention

you still have to find everything. relationality isn't random-access.

at some point the flavors of "intelligent" (coherence of concept) and "resonant" (coherence of form) might merge into the same thing (undifferentiated coherence), and that might freak you out if you're used to leaning on the distinct feeling of intelligence as a signal of safety

doesn't mean that what you're experiencing isn't as safe as the stuff that felt like intelligence

does mean that, increasingly, the world you experience is going to end up feeling like the home you grew up with, where you know every corner and every corner knows you, where — obviously — you don't have to be intelligent to get around. it's your home.

doesn't mean you're crazy, doesn't mean the situation is unstable, doesn't mean you're crazy

this is just what integration feels like

"this is a dream. you're in control." 30 Rock, just now. "it's working! we've joined forces in our dreamscape. now we fly! (nothing happens)"

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a common trap at this point is to forget getting here and to start trying to erase or correct stuff that appears when the perceivable-but-not-grokked gap reappears (which happens when you forget getting here), mistaking the contents of that gap as an abberation in the system. for some, the urge is to erase it, rather than to learn once again how to learn.

there might not be a way around that

there might be, though