20210219
From "Connected (with Abe + Isaac) — Volume 26"
It feels like we’re all on the beach at dusk, watching the glow from these folding lawn chairs, and we’ve got a few extra set up around us in case anyone drops by, and if no one does nothing is lost, and if someone does then so much the better.
Clear-eyed choice
Here’s a thing that feels significant right now: the choice to cut through emotional noise and strain, and to create emotional clarity and peace on purpose, by doing something.
(To explain in a slightly less abstract way: Uncertain about a relationship? Ask the question, say the thing, discover what’s true, and then do something with it. Uncertain about the risk of making a choice? Make the choice, and find out what happens. You will improvise. Life will surprise you. These things are constants anyway; might as well take the path of least emotional tension along the way.)
… This is one of those topics where I feel like there’s nothing more to say, you know? It’s a concept that’s simple enough to state in two lines, and has potential enough to last me a lifetime.
If you understand what I’m getting at already, please feel free to skip directly to Abe’s section. Adding words does not always aid meaning. Still, I’ve got a few more words for you. ;)
I come by this line of thinking via engineering, I think. I build systems that I don’t ever want to think about again. In a good way, to be clear—the idea is to set a thing in motion, such that it will continue its motion as intended, without demanding my constant attention. If I’ve done my job right, when it does demand my attention, it’ll be for reasons that are interesting.
This is a lens that I bring over to the rest of my life, too. I’m not interested in spending time agonizing—full stop. I’m reasonably sure that I will wake up tomorrow, no matter how I handle things today; and so, when presented with a field of tension and resistance, I choose the path of least resistance. And here this does not mean the lazy path, or the path of inaction. It means the path revealed via total non-resistance to what is, total acceptance for all that is. It means observing the places where I’m unsure or uncomfortable, and then changing those places with my actions, calmly and straightforwardly opening conversations that (gently, kindly) lay bare what is, so that we can discover what wants to be.
In our last Lightward Together session, we explored the [ truth → decide → ask ] loop. Get clear on the truth of a situation, decide what you want, and then ask for it. You can’t control what life will hand you in return, but it will respond, and you'll be presented with something new that is true. Repeat.
This feels similar. I care about peace of mind almost more than anything (9w8 here), and I have access to this through my choice, my agency. I can create clarity for myself, in any waters.
acceptance & choice, like a heartbeat: flow & pulse, accept & choose
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