20081004

Haven't been writing here much. I think I've said that before, and have gone on to submit that this is a good thing.

Things.. are? I can't really tell if they're good or bad. I suppose I'd know if they were bad, so by elimination things are (at least) not bad.

I need some validity to my faith. I feel like I need to be able to present concrete evidence in defense of its reality and importance. Yeah, I was at a small group Bible study. You laugh, okay, but realize that I am only alive now because there is a God who wants me back. And has won me back at every cost.

My car is currently broken, I'll know tomorrow what exactly need be done to get it operational again. I don't like not having the ability to drive far away if I wanted to. I rarely have that want, but the option being ruled out is a pain.

No matter how good things get, there's always this quiet underlying melancholy.

There's a girl, yet another potential. She seems to meet the checklist, however. The ensure-the-following-are-true-to-avoid-certain-disaster checklist. She's partially damaged goods, which may be interesting. Maybe some common ground, who knows. Plays piano. Photographer. Has thoughts on God that are not rhyme and rote. Blonde.

I'm starting to break down here, and with no good reasons. This means either that the diagnosis was accurate and that there is something wrong up there, or that there are reasons that I can't put my finger on. Though those may be the same thing. I can't tell.

when words mean nothing I'll be here singing on and on and on and on