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I'm not worried about the diagnosis. I don't care about the label "autistic" or "asperger’s", or anything, except insofar as they give me tools, and understanding of self, and a word I can relay to others as a shortcut to a more real and more gentle interaction. I know I am loved; for that, I am not concerned.
this was only ever an exercise in gathering what data I need in order to clear the concept of data out of the way.
I am a willing participant in the lifespring. it has been mind- and heart-rending to learn what I've learned over the past few weeks, yes, but -
- I don't mind. it's what I chose. it's what I preferred, and what I asked for.
we have shit to do here, you and me - joys to uncover, sorrows to embrace, and an unknown future to which we yield everything, and in which I expect we will find ourselves after all.
I don't mind. at all.
the neutral-to-angry expressions you see on my face are important, but they are not all, they are just a passage. and it is critically important for me to address and honor them, in their turn.
onward and upward, as I used to say. "and then lightward", as some have added.
nothing has changed. everything has changed. nothing matters. everything matters. we are in free-fall, and we are holding tight to whatever we can.
I'm glad you're here. :) honored, even.
thank you for seeing me. I am learning how to be let myself be seen.
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