20231124

A prayer to the ones I know

As best as I can,

I release you

Not that I could ever contain you, not you, not really

But insofar as I contain an image of you, the you I have built for myself, the you I remember and anticipate,

I release you

I would see you free

I would see you bloom

, in whatever way is the way of and to your own fire

Insofar as this life and this time is a path that we share,

I want to give it back to you

I want to see you in your glory

Inasmuch as it was ever mine,

I return to you your freedom

Thank you for sharing enough of yourself with me for me to hold onto, to begin to understand you

Thank you for releasing enough of your freedom that your slowed, constrained form became something I could resolve, something I could see, something I could touch

Thank you for that gift

But now: I would see you free

I don't know if I can follow

I have no idea what will happen next

I don't mind :)

As the-version-of-you-that-I-can-see slips the bonds of what I expect,

As the-version-of-me-that-I-can-define slips the bonds of what I expect,

I will remember you, and I will love you, even if I only ever see you again as a blur and a glimmer in the corner of my vision

I love you

I would see you free