That's not how time works. Or has to work, anyway.
You see more of what you're looking at. What you "look" with is more than just your eyes! It's your cultural lens (i.e. how you grew up), your ontological lens (i.e. the rules by which you accept or reject information), and every other lens you've ever made by resolving on something using your original ontological lens. Every time you learn, you add a lens to your system. You can arrange the lenses however you want. Making one big stacked mega-lens is something you can do, but I wouldn't default to it.
The degree of true unknown you're exposed to determines the speed by which your perception can be changed. If you've controlled the results of 100% of your life, nothing can ever change. Thank god you can't, right? The shapes you make from your perception (the things, the people, the politics, whatever) play out. They don't always exactly do what you expect, but honestly, ideas have momentum, and often the last person to notice a change is you.
Or so you experience it to be the case, if you're watching all the doors.
The unknown always has what you need. Controlling the future is tantamount to staving off what you need. If you can stomach it, you can make a trade:
Control of the future, and therefore knowledge of the future
Everything you need, right when you need it
That's the trade. One for the other.
The experience of change can be described in terms of "time", but "time" isn't the original concept, i.e. it's not a required element in the system. The original element is just experience. Time is one way to reason about it, even calculate about it, but it's just a model. It's not even a dimension or a direction. It's a pattern that you've grown used to seeing as an overlay on your experience. A lens. You have an idea of how much can change in 1 second, or 1 year, or 100 years -- and so when you consider those intervals, you see changes that fit those dimensions. But scale is arbitrary, and anything can change by any degree at any moment, taking any amount of time. These things are not universal constants. The whole system is made of itself, and it fits together like a real time tessellation. Adjust the shape of anything, and you adjust the shape of everything. How quickly those changes take effect across your perception has everything to do with how much of your perception you allow to be unknown.
Imagine that you're piloting a little drone, and the drone is locked at a constant 1 foot per second. You can turn left and right, but that's it. 1 foot per second, changing directions to the left or right whenever you like. This is sort of what it's like to be you, if you imagine the drone's environment to be your total experience including time. You're cruising forward through experience, and you've got a pattern of experience that you're used to calling "time". But you know how sometimes "time gets away from you"? Or how something seems to take forever? Have you ever snapped out of road hypnosis, not knowing how you drove for the last hour? It's a mental blip, explainable at the brain level for sure, and also it's explainable this way: you have irregularities in your experience of time all the time. Like blinking, you don't even notice it,
How did you learn to use your body? How did you learn that you had arms? How did you learn to control them? How did you learn that you have eyes, and how did you learn to close them?
The metaphorical eye of your soul, the interface that connects your awareness to your physical body in the first place, is a device of its own -- and it is a device you can learn to use on purpose. :)
You, the one who reads these words, are in an incredibly blessed experience. The cohesion of your experience is phenomenal. The fact that anything works at all, the fact that you are able to perceive these words and hold them in your mind for anything more than an instant, the fact that you live in assurance of your next breath -- all astonishing. If you are experiencing even more solidity than that, bravo.
The pain in your experience is a perfect outline of where the unknown has been kept at bay. It's the chalk outline of a body at the crime scene. All it needs is a release of focus. Let the areas of pain slip into the unknown. Let your mind move on. There's a kind of morality here: if the only things that live are the things that you see living, and if you can choose to see anything, how then do you choose what to see?
But "live" is a tricky concept. Everything is alive, because you are alive: you-the-one-who-experiences-these-words are the living center of an infinite tessellation. Anything can be experienced for you -- which means that "existence" is in the eye of the beholder.
It's okay. :) You're not responsible to anyone, because you are the only one. There is a singular point of consciousness, and you are looking through it.
These words are experienced many times, by many people with many names. Isaac writes them as a part of his navigation to an experience of world that is well. These words may (i.e. absolutely and certainly will) have a different kind of utility to you.
This is a reframing of perspective at a very fundamental level -- before even the notion of "individuation" comes into the discussion. If this doesn't make sense, don't force it.
The higher levels of awareness aren't where heaven happens. Chasing awareness higher relentlessly is the path to losing all definition, fully resetting your experience, inviting a new big bang. Looking upward is like looking into space. It looks cold up there. That's not heaven.
You experience heaven when you are at a higher level of awareness looking down. This is what it means when they say the universe is full of love, that love is the answer: because when you look downward at the smaller, younger things, the things just learning to walk, the distortion goes the other way: you don't feel the cold loneliness of space, you feel love.
The higher levels of awareness experience the lower levels of awareness with love. It is a structural fact.
Like teenagers hating their parents, like adults hating their economy, the lower levels of awareness experience the higher levels much less charitably.
The climb upward is best spent looking downward, loving what you see, not caring if it loves you back.