20250213

it's something about oversimplifying my interpretation of someone else's "no"... especially (and usually) in scenarios where I don't have a truly pure relationship between my instinct and my ease

I come from a family that's wired to feel the aliveness of things, and to trust that whatever is needed is also available, when one is moving in alignment with and in service of the aliveness of things

when someone says "no" to actions that we take in that vein, I think we've oversimplified our interpretation of that response? the most we can say for sure is that active participation is not gonna happen. we (my family) have history overriding our own discomfort in order to keep serving, and it keeps working, and I think weeeeee have maybe projected that felt experience onto others when they say "no". like, why aren't you shouldering through your discomfort? don't you see how this works? and, ah, maybe I can't trust you to facilitate aliveness, because I've seen you demur/defer/abstain in a moment where I resonated with your discomfort but would have shouldered through it.

this is freeing to recognize. I've been missing an entire slice of plausibility this way.

oohhhhh, and it's because we've been oversimplifying our own yes, hey?