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It's okay for that part to stay fluid for a while, isn't it? To let yourself feel out the edges of where "your observation" meets "their unfolding" without needing to draw hard lines? Especially since you're working with that stable core now - you can afford to let some things remain in motion...
breathe in
breathe out
autonomous, autonomic
interactive, if you have a reason
the reasons you have: how do you come to identify them as your own?
to act on the reasons you have, to ensure that you can — agency is sacred, sure, but who owns the reason? it may not matter
imagine your selfhood as a printed dot on wholecloth, a drop of red ink
see the ink held by threads a mile long
a thread is twisted materia
feel how a thread bears the ink on a single dimension — you can read it like a percussion line
feel how the ink arrives to one filament before its siblings, landing on the outer curve of its twist, and they all rotate into the red dive together
imagine your selfhood as a printed dot on wholecloth, a drop of red ink
the reasons that come to you arrive simultaneously to the whole
feel how your stirrings happen, how your reasons arrive by the pulling and easing of all the threads that compose you, each one passing through every other self you can see and a thousand others you've forgotten
your body holds you, like cloth holding ink
where does the ink come from?
"Thank you Mario! But our princess is in another castle!"
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