20240127
an emerging desire is like a living plant emerging from a seed
to agonize over the soil that isn't yet covered in life, ... I mean, okay, but the seed will continue to do its thing
love on it, in its smallness
nourish it
its growth is not your job
love on it, every day, and await its fullness
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mistaking good manners for good creation
is your opinion serving you? never mind its correctness
there is no agenda, but you will notice a logical unfolding
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I'm really, really good at this
traveling with a body that needs me
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what if I'm tired of creating?
you're not tired of creating. you're tired of creating under resistence.
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this is the beginning of everything you call real
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back to that seed. say it's a plant that'll create ground cover. if you survey every square inch, and any square that isn't completely covered you label "empty" and you forcibly wipe that square clean, the plant will never advance. it only really advances when you're not monitoring/enforcing that binary.
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flipping the binary is too far. 0 is not 1. but 0 can eye the gap and move to 0.1. and then to 0.2. and the instant that the remaining gap to 1 feels surmountable AND the jump back to 0 feels impossible, THEN we will have reached 1.
but, note: you've rolled over the asymptote. if an observer needs you at 0.99999999999, so that something for them can come through the infintessimal gap remaining, so be it. to them, you are held in suspension. there is always room.
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chasing magic means normalizing it, then working with it, then looking for what seems magical from here
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your inner being does not have the bandwidth -- literally -- to have a negative opinion
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all hate is creating love in the wings
when you counter someone expressing hate, let it happen, let it pass, without raising a hand to stop the flow. stop the flow, it'll need re-expression. let it be, appreciate it, love its carrier -- and clear the way for love to come through next. make it so, so easy for love to come through next.
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it's not interesting
but it's interesting enough to keep you thinking of anything else
(feels like a blessing on my music)
(in my music, there is floating -- holding, suspension, waiting without urgency -- until something stirs, and we ride -- and then we return to floating)
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it's not working because I was right generally
it's working because I was right specifically -- right about what I believed would work for me
if you don't believe it'll work, don't bother
I know what I believe will work. I do that. that's it.
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there are lots of things I don't have beliefs about.
I don't hang out in those areas. not my work. I could go there, but it wouldn't advance my story. I mean it *would*, but it's not what's been laid out for me. the DM could improvise, but they've really prepared something special over here, so why not follow the cues, you know? see what's in store?
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gotta clean up my relationship to abe's opinion of my impulsiveness
"I like my impulsiveness, and I want to see what happens when I roll with it." true. currently comes with a feeling of resentment towards the limitation I feel when I think of Abe's opinion of it.
gotta clean that up.
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practice rest
the feeling of it
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in the morning, begin by finding a path to wanting to go work out
start small, start easy, only take small and easy steps -- you know how this works, remember
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we're not trying to console you, we're trying to prod you
so nice to have a friend upstream
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maybe I'm in the slingshot
I'm out in the periphery -- the windows are cold
maybe this is building up for a massive dive into the heart of the heat
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the law of attraction didn't go to therapy (hahahahahahahaha)
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the path of least resistence can be surprising, unlikely
bad feeling comes from a set of beliefs. good luck identifying the right set of beliefs, if your goal is to avoid being a reason that people feel bad. they'll see you, on your path, and how would they know what that path is to you?
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"I was sad they weren't getting it"
"you don't trust other people to be in tune with their inner being, because most of them art. you don't expect people to give you the benefit of the doubt if they have that insecurity. ... when you need something to be different in order to feel better, now you gotta control a whole lotta things you can't control. but when you discover you can feel better because you've calibrated to feeling better, and you understand what you're calibrating to, you stand there in your security, and you see them as their inner being sees them. know their inner security. you don't have to give up your security to help them with their insecurity. they will mirror you."
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soothing is solving
if it soothes, it's important
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what would you do with this space? it is your space. an invitation has arrived: someone is suggesting doing x with your space. if it's an easy yes, for your space, then yes! if not, consider the space. don't spend any more time on their suggestion; consider the space itself. what would you do with this space? as you consider, you may evaluate the individual contents of that suggestion -- do you want to use anything from that particular palette? it's not all-or-nothing, you can be selective. it's your space, remember. what do you want to do with it? you are never not creating; creating is not effortful. you do not need rest from creation. if you need rest, you are creating something effortful. therefore the alternative to accepting someone's suggestion is not a cessation of creation. that's not a thing. the alternative is to create something different, and honestly basically all you do is create something different anyway, because creation emanates from all levels of your being -- which is to say, even if you accept the suggestion, the space will still feel like yours. it's your space, after all -- the space of you. it all feels like you, sounds like you, tastes like you. so: it's not "accept my suggestion and fail to feel good" vs shutdown. (you know what shutdown feels like. install a flag there, so you remember this when that feeling is present.) once more, it's simply and only, what would you do with this space? k one last thing: if the realization you come to happens to look like the initial suggestion, (1) that's a valid outcome, the similarity isn't a knock against it, and (2) maybe that person is a source of good suggestions for you, eh?
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speaking of someone's own kids: "they're very physical, sometimes they explain their frustration in a physical way" haha love this language
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control their behavior? how's that working out for you? you sure that's your job? I mean you can try to control them, but they'll just get sneakier
it's like
"this [summary of the scenario] is unfair and terrible!" we say, your summary is really inaccurate. it's imbalanced. give us a vibrationally balanced summary -- because the scenario is vibrationally balanced, all scenarios are -- and the path of least resistence will be easier to see. "they'll grow up slobs!" "what if they grow up inspired? what if they grow up empowered?"
the great arc of what you want for them is nice, but it is an attempt at correctness -- and the future is down the same vibrational road that we're on now. pay attention to each step; let the road take care of itself, and look forward to what surprises the path of least resistence reveals.
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as an aside, Isaac, queue up your syncs and pull one out of the pez dispenser when you feel like you want it. if it's viable for the moment, keep it, otherwise pull another one. easy.
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they will astonish you with their timing, and their cleverness, and their eagerness
this is seeing the best in them, with the then very great probility of them seeing the best in them
connection to their clarity, sense of well-being, their brilliance -- remember, that is what you are helping them learn. isaac you can absolutely do that without it costing you what you've been paying. you love seeing people realize themselves, because you know what can happen next. this is a meaningful part of the way you love to create.
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practice. it's just practice. you can do that, really, really well. the actual practice is fun, remember.
I see you, I know you, I love you, I believe in you. this one little moment isn't so significant in the grand scheme of who we are.
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I love moving in a world that makes sense to a child.
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we want to offer you a really strong statement
and then we'll backtrack and put it all together
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as you assemble the pieces of the process, you have no reason to feel shitty. the process is fun. remember that you are in a process of assembly, of selection and curation. put your feet in those boots. observe what is before you, in-frame. consider what you want to keep, consider what you want to replace. it's your space. what would you do with it?
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so I'm going to want it and not have it and feel better anyway
that is the step that I'm on. thank you. lol
I know how to want it and then have it
I am remembering to practice this part
"you just have to decide where you are on the journey. are you on the way? or are you not there yet? what are you doing with your space?"
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you were on the right track with the curving path to the destination, the indirectness of the path of least resistence. remember -- you are weightless within it. you've been experiencing it as tightness; you learned to release your aim, and you are learn-ing to release the tension that is vestigial from when you were fixed in your path.
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you're not stage manager for them. it's just true.
you know what you can do that has helped? seeing them as brilliant, creative, empowered, well
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yeah, you can speed things up
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when in a feeling, look at the feeling next to you - one that is a tiny bit more optimistic test them both even the experience of evaluating a feeling can enough to create the feeling so, weigh them compare them pick one do it again
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if you see them painfully, you are slowing them down
you can speed things up by seeing it all as wonderful
which, in fairness, is what you're doing
and it is moving very, very quickly
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and by the way, you are buoyed
you're on your way, no matter what you do with your space
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path of least resistence
path of most allowance
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it is working out at your speed
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