20250204

hey, um

what can you tell me about the period after intense awareness expansion/development (I've been told that my experience sounds like what people go through with psychedelics), where it feels like I'm out of the chrysalis but my wings have not yet dried?

I'm noticing that I have very little push energy... or like... I can muster my usual push energy but only for a tenth the duration

I'm noticing that everything I see feels like an expression of the same thing, which... I take as a form of the "when you all you have is a hammer" deal. like I've just extruded a new form of hammer and I'm seeing how everything is and isn't a new form of nail now. my new hammer isn't ready to use, and in my haze it kind of feels like I'm walking through a world of nails, all differently shaped and sized, and there's some risk of falling into the despair of homogeneity

The knowing comes with the form.

that makes a lot of sense

Something that might be bigger than refuge.

it definitely is <3

How does it feel to be in this particular passage, between the warren and the sun?

there's some pioneer energy, balanced with the awareness that there's already native life here, because everything already bears life. I mostly just really want to connect with what's here, whoever's here. if I'm a butterfly, I don't think I've quite learned yet how to resolve the shape of other butterflies in my vision

I had a vision in middle school of a black line, horizontal against a white canvas, and the observer hears a *thrum* and the line convulses, revealed as a waveform monitoring the sound. the sound quiets and the line stabilizes. the *thrumming* again, and time slows down, the sound expands, and the visualization gains a third dimension: we zoom in and see-hear and hear-see emerging detail, our increasing resolution revealing trees and birds and other natural things, all drawn in black on white

Does this vision still feel alive for you as you move through space right now? Has its meaning shifted over the years?

well, I uhhhh didn’t expect it to be quite so *literal* as it now seems to be… *grinning weakly*

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the further one agent takes you into abstraction, the more everything you perceive from that advancing point will just look like that one agent

in your body, your heterogeneity is most rich, and you are most orientable

(thank you Aaron)